Crawl

Bob & Sheri July 26, 2019

I walked into this knowing absolutely nothing about it, other than it was a horror movie Todd sent me to.  The movie opens up at a University of Florida swim meet where our hero Haley, played by Kaya Scodelario, finishes second.  She gets a call from her sister about the coming hurricane and she hasn’t heard from their dad Dave, played by Barry Pepper.  Evidently Harley and her dad are somewhat estranged because he was an over the top sports dad that wanted her to win.  He told her she was an Apex Predator.  Of course she now volunteers to drive into the middle of the hurricane to check on him.  So now I know who is going to be the victim of not only what the villain turns out to be, but also of her own stupidity.  But that’s ok, without extreme amounts of stupidity this type of movie could not exist.

When she finally tracks him down he’s under the house in the crawl space totally unconscious, barely breathing, and bleeding from his shoulder, with a severally broken leg.

He’s at least 180 lbs. of dead weight but because she is an Apex Predator/swimmer she is able to drag him almost to the steps leading out of the crawl space.  This is when I learn what is going to try to kill her.  A humongous 15 foot alligator.  She turns around and drags her unconscious daddy back behind some pipes where the gator can’t reach them.  This is a herculean feat since an alligator can run 20 MPH.  The only chance she has is to make a run for it.  Spoiler alert she doesn’t make it, and she is back behind the pipes with daddy, which amazingly has went from knocking on deaths door, to encouraging coach dad who performs a medical miracle with a wrench.  Of course by now the hurricane is in full force and the rain is pouring into the crawl space along with more gators.  If this water keeps rising how will Haley and her dad ever get out?  If only one of them could swim really, really fast!  Now it comes clear to me, to survive all she has to do is out swim a bunch of alligators.  This is where you have to set aside any kind of common sense.  An alligator can swim at a speed of 20 MPH, Michael Phelps fastest speed was 6 MPH.  Haley finished second.  Do the math, or in this instance don’t do the math and just watch the dang movie.

It is a perfect 87 minutes, Rated R for bloody violence, as in people being eaten alive by alligators, and for language, the kind you would use if you were being eaten alive by alligators.

At first the movie was stupid, even more stupid than you would expect.  But then, whether the director meant to or not, it became funny.  Funny in the way a movie like this can be so over the top, but yet the actors are playing it totally straight, and you wind up having the best time ever!

The production values were good, the alligators were believable, and the people did the exact opposite of what a normal person would do which lead to some spectacular death by gator scenes.

I had some really great laughs with four or five people setting around me as we walked out of the theater about how much we enjoyed this really bad 87 minute movie.

My Score: As a movie, 2 Buds, as an enjoyable 87 minutes that’s worth the price of a ticket, 5 Cold Budweisers

Bob & Sheri

Bob & Sheri

Like Nothing Else

More info




Current track

Title

Artist